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Exercise in Song Moby Dick

Call him Ishmael; and set out
A-whaling on board the old Pequod
Till Ahab’s dark obsession takes over the crew
And they’re all cursed too, by God.

Though weaker hearts might quail,
Starbuck, Queequeg and Ishmael
Are bewitched by Ahab’s constant refrain:
“Catch me that monstrous white whale!”

Exercise in Song Odyssey

Set sail for Ithaca’s shores,
And leave burning Ilium behind.
Resist the songs of sirens and the lotus flowers,
And then strike the Cyclops blind.

Though Scylla and Circe
Try to seize, enchant or slay,
By Minerva’s grace shall Ulysses reach
Home, son and Penelope!

Exercise in Song Women's magazine

Though you’ve left home in a rush
Those tired eyes can be concealed away!
Here’s how you get this great look in under an hour
(Though your bob cut’s très passé!)

Time to reduce the size
Of your bums and tums and thighs,
So you’ll always impress, out with the girls!
Next week: the truth about guys!

Replacing Feminine

Exercise in Song Zoological

Follow their spoor to their sett,
But don't wake a bear with a sore head.
They prey on waterfowl which they cannot digest,
So they lie there, playing dead.

They migrate east to west,
To their burrow, hive or nest,
Yet you'll hear their calls for most of the year
Till they find somewhere to rest.

Exercise in Song Country

Ey up: coun’ta ’elp me yoem?
Ahm reet knackered fray mankin abeawt.
Ayad sum Corporation pop ter eke eawt tay;
Neaw me yed is wattered eawt!

Fray Rochdale ter Cartmel,
Eawt ter Liverpool as well,
As ahm gooin reawnd ahl croodle this seawnd:
Ahl find me way yoem misel.

Replacing West Indian