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Take It Back

9 May 2010

(To the tune of "My Bonny Lies Over The Ocean." This work is licenced under a Creative Commons Licence. It's a protest song: sing it yourself if you want, when you want!)

I voted for someone I don't like
To stop someone worse getting in,
But that bugger got in regardless
And wasting my vote was a sin

Take back, take back, let's take back our suffrage today, today!
Take back, take back, let's take back our suffrage today!

Private eye

22 Mar 2010

When he went out that day he left his keys on the table near the front door. They were quite a heavy bundle, and he was in the habit of declaring them a hindrance—when off jogging or heading out to the allotment—and asking her if she would definitely be around later to let him in. She would almost always say yes: usually it was true; even if not, small tasks could often be arranged. It wasn't just that she preferred to help organize his day; she just wanted to be around to let him in.

Subterranean Homesick Blue Christmas

23 Dec 2009

(to the tune of, and with apologies to, Bob Dylan's original)

1. Santa's at the north pole
Mixing up the present lists
Rudolf's at the punch bowl
Getting seasonably pissed

The man in the red coat
Beard out, hat off
Says he's got a full sled
Your gift could fall off

Look out, kid
Are you naughty or good?
He knows which
You know that's understood

You better not shout or cry
I'm telling you why
The man in the fur-trimmed hat
And a double chin
Wants a sherry left out
You only got gin.

Cut off the telephone

13 Nov 2009

When someone says they've lost a friend they usually mean they've fallen out with them. The realization finally struck me this weekend that I had lost one in a far more permanent way; that I had also foolishly neglected the friendship for so long (thanks to geography, social scenes and the ever-intervening mess of live's administrative duties) that it was only on losing him that I was jolted into reminiscing about how much had been lost.

Reflections on an enormous puddle

25 Jul 2007

You ignored all the warnings
About global warming
(Or climate change as we now call it)
You dismissed the statistics
As myth told by mystics
In favour of cramming your wallit.

All those air miles behind you
Expanding your mind? You
Know: brains aren’t things on which you sit.
So instead now you find
An expanded behind
That’s the size of the cloud you emit.

Now, given the rain
Fell again, and again,
And poor Yorkshire is all under watter
Then if you still deny
The state of the sky
You must be as mad as a hatter.

But if you’re not sure
Of the need for a cure

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